For Ryan

I’m not as skilled as you are, dear, at saying what I feel;
at putting thoughts to words without them losing their appeal.
I often find it difficult, this honest, soft reveal; that I am so in love with you it doesn’t quite seem real.

I revel in reminders of how we can spend a day;
Curled together with limbs entwined in such a perfect way.
In your arms I feel safe and loved and there I wish to stay; warm within your fond embrace near every single day.

I know you often worry that I can’t say this aloud.
Trust me, darling, it is a hitch of which I am not proud.
I’m working relentlessly, trying desperately not to shroud these feelings that build inside me like a cumulonimbus cloud of LOVE for you.

Your upturned mouth with small freckles upper right,
is surely enough to reassure me night from night to night.
Though tonight I feel so lonely and even with all my might focused on not missing you it is a failing plight.

Reviving this old thing! Post number 100.

When I started this blog I was finishing my final years of school, and now I am finishing the final year of a University degree; something I was never certain that I would get to do. It's a surreal feeling.

Currently I am 20 years old and about as stressed as possible. I have a never-ending list of assignments and personal projects, and most of them are due within the week.

As part of my Nursing degree we've had to complete practical placements, where you work in a hospital or aged care facility for a certain number of weeks in a professional role, undertaking tasks and being assessed. I have my last one of these placements beginning on September 9th, and it's a rural hospital placement - I have to move 110km away from home for 8 weeks.
I am incredibly excited to get this opportunity, and to grow and learn in a community nursing environment which I have never before had the opportunity to do!

As far as my personal life goes; I have had a wonderful year with a lot of personal development. I undertook a placement in January in an operating theatre - I nearly failed this placement and learnt a lot about how to approach others in a work environment and also how to deal with harsh criticism. I grew from this as a person, though it wasn't an enjoyable experience. I then travelled to the south of England for a month (February/March) on my own, staying with various family members or friends I had met online. It was so refreshing and invigorating to travel alone, meet people I had never seen face to face, and to just do whatever I felt like doing. Letting the days flow in whichever way they wanted to was absolutely fantastic. I became far more independent and feel I learnt a lot about what I want from life.
I then returned to University for 8 weeks, bought myself a car, and undertook a further 8 week placement on which I was able to slip into a management position and gain much needed experience doing the work I will, hopefully soon, be being paid for. The nurses I worked with were so incredibly supportive and wise. After placement ended I had more time to spend with a boy I had inklings of feelings for; which blossomed nicely into a deep-seeded crush, which I for once acted on! We're now dating, and have been together for just under 3 months. I'm pretty happy with this.
My anxiety and depression was diagnosed earlier in the year and I have been seeing a psychologist for 4 months - at today's session he told me that I had made remarkable progress and our future appointments need only be on an as-needed basis. So that's something I have also made progress on!

This year has been so wonderful thus far - I have grown and developed as an individual in ways I never thought I could. It certainly shows what I can achieve if I set my mind to it!

It's a bit embarrassing to look at those first twenty or so posts - but it's a slice of my history, and shows how much I have progressed since!

I won't make any promises of future posts, because to be honest - I don't know when I will find the time.

This is going to be a long one

I've been keeping a diary, a proper one, that I keep up-to-date and stuff. It's really great because I can get thoughts out of my head and organise my life better, and it's just something I have been really enjoying. It also means that I can update you guys PROPERLY and post, with accurate dates, the important things I have been doing lately!

On November 2nd, I hung out with Sarah for her 18th birthday, saw Moonrise Kingdom, a really fantastic film set in the 60s, and bought Sherlock season 2 on DVD finally.
On the 3rd I slipped into pre-exam-depression, and apparently complained a lot about having to coach skating the following morning.
Emma visited on the 4th and we had a lot of fun playing on the Wii, and on the 5th I got my SD card stuck in the CD drive of my iMac, but saved it so that's okay! I also started my TARDIS dress on the 5th.
On the 6th I tried to go without the internet for a day but failed.
On the 7th I watched the election coverage and studied all day.
The 8th was filled with studying also, but with Stef and in the state library. I also got a lot of mail.
The 11th was my 20th birthday and I spent it doing things that made me appreciate life. I got up early and watched the sunrise from Brighton jetty, skyped with Suzie for a lot of the day, studied outside in the sunshine and ate a lot of birthday cake.
On the 12th Dailybooth was announced to be shutting down FOR GOOD within the week and so there is legitimately 5 pages in my diary dedicated to how sad I was about that.
On the 17th and 18th of November I went to Adelaide Supanova and met Harriet in REAL LIFE and we got along so so well it was amazing. We are truly kindred spirits and I aspire to one day live with her for an undetermined length of time because we click so well and I think it would be a crime for us to not be in the same living space at some point in our lives.
I also spent the 19th with Harriet just wandering around the city and sitting by the river chatting about everything and anything.
Skipping forward to the 25th when I left for Perth. Sitting in an aeroplane high above the world had me thinking about how simple yet complex life is, and how little I truly appreciate, and how we tend to rush past things of true beauty and don't stop to really see things... it was an enlightening thought process that I cannot put into words.
All of the time I spent in Perth was amazing and I spent a week there, with great people in great surroundings.
I also sketched a lot of people on trains or in restaurants. Check it out

I blurred out the writing on some, not because it's personal but because it distracts too much for my liking. You can try to read it if you're creepy. 

I got back home on the 4th and had been very sick (and still am) all train journey. I have been working almost every day except Mondays and Tuesdays doing Santa Photography and I am really enjoying that.

I also spent $100 on Topman christmas jumpers and $14 sending Christmas cards around the world.

I hope everyone has a fantastic Christmas

and I might be visiting England in February. I will keep you posted! (unless I forget)

Art updates

Hello!
My, it has been a while since I updated this old thing!
I'd like to show you my finished nightdress, but the truth of the matter is that it isn't finished!
So i'll just dump some art stuff here :)


This is something I have been working on for ages; because I keep dropping it and then going back and trying to finish it! It's not finished yet, but this is a sped up video of some of the work I did to it on my Livestream just over a week or so ago!

This is Roxy and Calliope, from the webcomic Homestuck.

Drawn in the same kind of style that Calliope uses in the comic, and done quite quickly & very rough!

Amy  Pond, from the episode "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship"

That's about it from me as far as good art goes, you can check out my stuff on tumblr if you're interested!
Squirrel's Art (aerocave-art)

Lavender's blue, dilly dilly

Today I finally got around to picking some Lavender, which I have been planning on doing for at least a month, because all of our Lavender bushes are in flower!

I separated them into four bunches and have hung them up on a coat-hanger in my room, so for the next week or so, everything will smell like Lavender and nothing will hurt!

I have been browsing a whole lot of dressmaking blogs lately, and I found what looks like a delicious recipe for 'Lemon Lavender Tea Cookies' over at The Cottage Home, and plan on making it with the Lavender I picked today!

 I have also been busy sewing a nightdress that I designed, though currently I have hit a wall with my motivation for basically everything, so haven't made much progress on it. I was sick with an URTI and bronchitis for about 3 weeks, and am only just getting over it, being on my fourth course of antibiotics, so we'll see how that goes! My University studies are going well, though as I said, my motivation has been lost and I am not sure when I shall find it again, though I really hope it will be soon.

I'll post again really soon, with some information on my nightdress project! I am so proud of it, it is the first time I have sewn something entirely myself, with only guidance and not help from my mother. So proud.

I hope you are all having a cozy winter, and that none of you lose your motivation to do things~