well this is... different!
i only really use my tumblr for reblogging pictures of benedict cumberbatch, so i see no point in actually posting things about my life there
so why not turn back to my old blog?
nobody really reads it anymore, so this could be a really good place to just jot down some feelings etc
if anyone is reading this, here, have an update!
i got into uni! yay! but it's not the course i wanted. aww.
but i'm transferring to nursing next year!
I got my L's and i've been out driving amongst real live traffic recently, it's scary
you might not agree, but i am driving a manual... ssooo it is.
anyway, not really sure what else to say...
i've broken my new years resolution, you know what it was
well, you the unknown reader do not, but i'm gonna continue with the assumption that nobody reads this. ever.
also, if my lack of capitilisation annoys anyone, too bad. i've always felt capitals leave out the words in the middle of the sentence, so, nobody gets a capital and we're all fine. oooh i found a post from ages ago that i had saved in word... *copypastes*
so i'm not going to explain the situation, i'll just talk about how i feel about it
because i know someone will read this and quote me on it one day and life as you know it will split into thirty alternate realities, 28 of which end in me shooting myself in the head.

i feel like you're messing with my head. is that how it's supposed to feel? because i don't know anymore. i don't believe anything of what you say, either, it seems it's just all lies.
i'll humor you, for the time being, but i wonder how obvious it is that i'm not taking you seriously. at all.
really, though, you're great and all that, but i just don't get it. why me? i'm really not all that speical. why can't you turn your attentions to someone else? i feel terrible, because all i ever do is let you down, you fall for me and i crush you, and i can't help it, i just don't think i could ever love you. any of you. sure i check some of you out in the street now and then, and occasionally there will be one of you who likes me at a time when i like you back. but it never works out. it never will. this is because i don't want it to. i don't want you to have control over me, even if that isn't your intention. but i don't want to feel things i can't control, i just can't stand it.

anyway, just a little bit of a rant, i suppose!
muchos loves <3

hah. well i remember that one, it didn't end well. you all know that. i just doubt i'll ever love again :)