So, i'm not blind, i know i have friends and family, and now a boyfriend, who care for me a great deal...
Which means it's pretty bloody selfish of me to be feeling depressed and suicidal at the moment. Isn't it.
Of course, this doesn't help my self esteem, because knowing i'm selfish for feeling depressed just gives me more reasons to hate myself. Which i do, a considerable amount.
I'm lazy, conceited, immature. I've got the ability to do really well at Uni, yet i'm so lazy and unmotivated that i've done shit all so far this semester. I'm really great at breaking things, too. I would write a list of everything that i'm bad at and all the reasons i hate myself, but that's bound to bore you. Not to mention i'm probably just attention seeking by even putting this on my blog.
I really honestly cannot stand myself.
But sshhh it's a secret! :)
<3
3 comments:
Have you considered talking to someone? I had undiagnosed anxiety for almost 8 years, and it got to the point where I was taken to hospital and put on suicide watch. I thought my life was going fine, and that sometimes everyone felt a little down. I didn't realise something was wrong. But now I'm seeing someone, and it's an incredible help.
Wow, Nick i never knew that, are you okay now?? I suppose i should talk to someone, but i'm really REALLY bad at putting everything into audible words :/
I'm fine now. Eventually - although under rather extreme circumstances - I realised I needed help, and I got it.
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