Worst idea in a long time. Here comes an essay.

Went to a party last night
This post can't end well


It was a horror party, i went as a Vampire girl from the Doctor Who episode Vampires in Venice. If you live in Australia it was on this afternoon at about 5/5:30pm on ABC1
Anyway, he was there, of course, looking lovely in his skinny jeans. GAH.
I had a bit to drink... Well, i mean, i didn't realise how much alcohol was in the punch until this morning, apparently there was almost an entire bottle of Smirnoff in that shit, and i had like 6 glasses of that. In between those i had two tequila shots. Keeping in mind i've never before drank anything substantial.

At the time i was just a little hyper, nothing out of the ordinary. Of course, there was the walk down to the beach where i stood up to my waist in the ocean, with my phone in my pocket of course, contemplating drowning myself just to see how long it would take my friends, who were about 700 meters away, to notice. Of course, when i say 700 meters away, i actually mean, like, 20.
He followed me though, kept hugging me and stuff.
But it was really amazing, because there were these bioluminescent organisms in the water, so when you walk through it or move your arms through the water, they start to glow a blue-green colour. It was as if you were dipping your arm into a pitch black night sky, and temporarily turning on the stars. I spent a great deal of time causing those organisms to glow, i think being intoxicated made it more interesting than it should have been. Then there was the sudden realisation that my phone was still in my pocket and i'd been in the water for a good 5 minutes... yeah, not so good! It's currently sitting, dismantled, in a bowl of rice. If anyone has any other suggestions that don't cost me a new phone or $150 of repair work, i'm all ears!
Not literally, that would be a weird sight


Anyway, three of us were spooning on one single mattress, which was fun for a while until we realised it really wasn't going to work, so we grabbed a spare swag that was lying around. Inevitable i ended up on the join between the two. We were in bed by about 4:30AM, but didn't really get to sleep until 5:30
He kept sneaking his arm around me, it was nice. But i'm more confused than ever, i mean, he was acting like we're a couple, yet he doesn't want to be a couple?
If i didn't bloody like him so much i'd let it go. Literally. I'd say that i'm too confused about the whole deal and that it was probably best if he left me alone. But i'm so sure that in the long run it could work, you know, be my first proper relationship? Hugging regularly and spooning is the most i've ever done with.. well... anyone really. I never really spooned my best friend, even. Yet i'm still not in a relationship?
Maybe i'm worrying about it too much... i mean, i don't need to label it, do i?

I hate over-thinking everything.

On a more positive note, depending on how you look at it, i now have a legit reason to not drink?
"Why don't you drink, Tori?" 'Last time i drank, i got kinda smashed and tried to drown myself, which of course resulted in my phone receiving extensive water damage'

What's this? Two posts in one week‽

I have a lovely list of things i need to do, i love lists! Do you love lists? I think they're amazing, means i don't have to keep everything up in my crowded and currently highly stressed brain!
That and i love the sense of accomplishment when i get to cross something off :D


I'm still having trouble deciding on a hair colour! Last time this happened, i decided on purple and black, then got to the hairdressers and thought "no, actually that isn't what i want" and went auburn instead. Then i thought 'that was a great spur of the moment decision! lets make another!' and got her to cut most of my hair off. That was NOT a great spur of the moment decision. But it's alright, it's growing back! Slowly.


I still need to sort out my room. I have to buy two bookcases and get rid of my desk somehow. I also need to sew a birthday present by Friday night/Saturday morning. Then i need to iron my costume and organise exactly which bits and pieces of my makeup collection to take with me to the pre-horror party Doctor Who marathon that we're having.
Yes, i know, my friends are the greatest!


For now, i am buggered. Jacqui and i went to Flinders Uni today and grabbed as much free stuff as we could find. Then we bussed it to Adelaide and UniSA, but most of the free stuff was gone by then! I now have lovely sunburn on my chest and shoulders, sore feet and a headache. Not to mention a partially swollen lip due to stress. FFFFUUUUUUU. 
I dislike being stressed. So i am going to sleep before half 10. Which is like 4 minutes away... okay, well i am actually in bed, so i just need to post this and roll over! right‽
Oh, Craig Ferguson is on....
Scratch that, i'm going to sleep after the Late Late Show :D


Alright, i'll leave it at that. Fairly boring update. I need to get back into the swing of things with this blogging stuff :/
<3

Challenge!

RIGHT.
I don't blog enough. You want to know how i can tell? I reveal a lot, and i mean A LOT of information about myself on facebook and twitter and dailybooth. Recently i've thought about it and realised it's because i don't really talk about myself, i'm partial to writing it down. And i kind of feel like i have to write it all down so that it's not fluttering around in my brain like a moth around your ceiling light at 12am when all you're trying to do is write a blog post but it wont go away!! irrelevant.
but somehow relevant.
So, i am going to use this blog as a form of diary, i did actually put in my resolutions that i have to keepa  diary this year, so this will have to do!
Therefore; updates are necessary!
My room is changing. Change is one of those things that i'm never sure of... This change is good, but for the meantime it's really not. All of my things are in boxes so i can't get to them, Uni starts next week and i don't think my room will be finished by then, which is a bugger.
But i've constructed a chest of drawers! Hurray!
Other majorly important things that my future self would want to remember are things such as; my zombie makeup for Alex Ogden's 19th birthday party, the fact that i am in love with my ginger hair, gardening makes me happy, as does reading, i currently don't know about doing Nursing... oh and ihaveanalmostboyfriend.

Basically, i have re-discovered my love of painting and art in general, and i'm sitting here weighing up the pros and cons of doing art vs. nursing... nursing= a lifetime job with good pay and the ability to travel, whereas i'd be happier doing art, broke for most of my life and i wouldn't be able to afford to go anywhere... BUT STILL.

There is a boy in my life! Alright, there already were boys in my life, but this one is a potential 'significant other'. i know, i know, tori you have had several of these, last time you told us to tell you not to go there if i ever became smitten with another one... well i don't care. i'm not going to give up this time! i'll see it through, try harder, let my barriers down... hopefully.

He makes me really happy, i wont bore or sicken you all with details, but he really does.

Doctor Who starts again soon!! SERIOUSLY CANNOT WAIT. HURRY UP MOFFAT I WANT MY EPISODES SO I CAN WATCH THEM A MILLION TIMES EACH.

I'm going to try to read more this year, do more University readings and spend less time online.
I'm going to try, in a few weeks or so, going without the internet entirely for a week apart from updating my blog here, and doing University-related research, readings and emails.
I know a  few people will freak out that i've died, but i couldn't care less.

Long blog post is long.
I'll stop now and write another tomorrow i think :)